I am a new member here. And I am looking for some insight and perhaps one day able to give insight on here as well. Reason why now? After this past year I have realized my mother's hurtful and verbally abusive/moody behaviour all my childhood/teen/young adult years are not normal behaviours and not what every mother does in secret. Then again, I am unsure also still because it's the only way I know. I'm in my 20's, if that information helps at all.
I want to keep this short.. because I would like someone to read it. I am looking for quite a bit of insight even after this.. because I am starting to worry about myself as well. Realizing some behaviours might not be "normal" in my mother has made me start to question my own in friendships etc.
In point form of things I quickly remember my mom does on constant:
- She constantly comes back in the room to say something mean to me ("You can consider packing your bags and moving out in 7 days" and then slams the door "You're not actually that pretty. I don't know why people think you are." I am not sure if this is normal or not normal from someone if I suggested not for us to reset the internet modem as it is not broken, her computer needs to be restarted.)
- She blames me for starting smoking again and ever since I've returned from my work trip that everything is bad again (even though messaging overseas she was all happy and excited for me to come home). Speaks outloud to say "Six months I didn't smoke a cigarette and now I started again. They are so disgusting. Since you've come back I started smoking again." In a very theatrical way. We weren't having a convo, I just happened to have walked within proximity.
- She is angry/moody in random bursts at home and whenever someone is in close proximity, starts talking about all the negative things even if no one is having a convo. Complains about small stuff non stop. Basically, when she is at work or fitness or sleeping is the only time her voice is not there with negative commentary for a general audience to hear.
- Doesn't listen to anyone, talks over me if I even have the chance to every try having a convo with her.
- Talks bad about me, lies about me to anyone.
- Threw a pot really hard in the sink (caused a huge scene that night for us all) because I didn't want to eat her spaghetti at 11:30 pm at night.. which she made specifically only for me. No one was asking for the dinner and she wasn't planning to eat it either. (There is more to this and it sounds crazy for me to write it, but my mother is legitimately trying to get me fat as I have discovered she is jealous of my life and me). I still cringe at coming to terms to say that outloud. I am in denial this is even possible from my own mother. I am willing to answer questions if need to make more sense of this one. This is just a scene I recently remember that was very painful. I have neglected/forgotten many similar physical situations as they are negative.
(Edit for above: She threw the pot in the sink after my dad decided to go grab some since no one was going to eat it. Then started shouting at him for being stupid and saying it was for me not for my dad. Comes back into my room telling me I'm stupid and dad ate everything. Then the physical drama started).
- In general, she is very dramatic.. likes to pretend we have nothing to eat, makes a scene for having to take sleeping pills. Pretty much constantly announcing things and how everything is hard for her
I don't feel I am able to provide these points properly as I really don't know what is common stressful behaviour or bipolar. To be honest, if I could write a book it would be bipolar but the writing is already getting too long in this post and I am looking for some insight first.
Once I can understand if she is or isn't (even if just potentially), I can understand better what I want to do with this information and if I can help.. or help myself leave the situation.
Help?
Source: http://www.psychforums.com/bipolar/topic100003.html
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